2010 MR WINELANDS

As much as I believe in equality of the sexes, and as much as I find pageants interesting and entertaining, I detest male pageants. Since my nephew was a finalist, I felt a moral obligation to attend the Mr Winelands pageant on the weekend.

Don't get me wrong. The concept of a male beauty pageant per se is not what irks me. What does get my feathers all ruffled is the fact that somewhere, in some secret book of male pageant behaviour that I have never seen, someone has determined that contestants in male pageants must bounce around on stage like a bunch of nelly club queens on a bad acid trip.

It wasn't quite as bad at the Mr Winelands pageant though. The usual pageant bounce was replaced by some hybrid "plattelandse boertjie" muscle flex come "what the hell must I do next" routine. Someone should tell guys that a casual constitutional along the catwalk will suffice when it comes to pageants. But enough of the BMW (bitching, moaning, whining) for now.

The event itself was an enjoyable experience. It was far more professional than the recently concluded Miss Winelands pageant which was embarrassing to the point of nausea. Local magician and entertainer, Regardt Laubscher, was a fantastic MC, and the entertainment was provided by by my all-time favourite SA Idol, Anke. I just wish she'd broaden her horizons and attempt to crack the international music market. Oh well!

For the record, the Mr Winelands title went to Ryno Swanepoel, with Louis Bieldt and Justin Claassens as the runners-up. The nephew I referred to earlier is one of the Top 3, but I'm not going to say which one.